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Mad about Mascots

June 14, 2007

COMPLAINT & SARCASM WARNING:

The following post contains negative comments regarding the Denver Broncos. The author has the deepest respect, admiration for (and even dysfunctional obsession with) said Broncos, so these comments should be read with the understanding that (while rare) everyone must find something to complain about.

 

The years we won back-to-back Super Bowls were great times. We had the world’s greatest coach, the best darn QB in the land and a running back whose initials could also stand for Touch Down. I thought we had it all back then. I was wrong. Apparently, we were missing a silly clown in a horse-headed costume.

Now, I understand that nearly all professional sports teams have these ridiculous effigies running up and down their field (or court) acting like complete buffoons and (theoretically) entertaining the children. It’s just that I have an unnatural hatred of Styrofoam caricatures goofing around while I’m trying to watch my football game. I simply can not abide them.

I mean, when we miss a field goal at INVESCO field at Mile High, the last thing I want to see at the bottom of my screen is some ex-high school cheerleader dressed up in a furry-fetish costume pretending to bang his enlarged horse-head into the goal post in a lame attempt at cartoon humor.

But, by far, my biggest grievance with Denver’s orange & blue reverse-centaur is that WE ALREADY HAD A MASCOT!

The charge of Thunder across the stadium after our home team scored was truly something special. Both the beautiful white horse as well as the giant Broncos flag his rider bore were breathtaking. This tradition was unique and classy. It was a statement about our team (like the Mile High Salute). Tasteful and elegant. Real and regal.

Now, we have Miles… Oh, yes, the puns never end now. Miles the human-horse-hybrid says things like “Say Neigh to Drug” and lists his favorite toy as My Little Pony. WTF!?!

Why do we need this?

Is this a ploy to increase sales of mascot-related merchandise? Because I can’t see any respectable parent buying the hard back book “Mile’s Grand Adventure: a chronicle of Mile’s A-to-Z journey around the state of Colorado,” or a serious golfer shelling out $33 for headcovers in the shape of Mile’s head?

I know it’s useless to rail against this, but if I had just one wish it would be that Miles would be lost in a team outing and never return…. Actually, if I had just one wish I would wish for us to win the Super Bowl, and if I had two wishes I would add the part about Miles.

— END OF COMPLAINT —

 

Well… end of my complaint, but not the end of the story….

Although I didn’t think ANYONE actually read my blog, apparently, our mascot Miles does (or did). He wrote a post recently in his blog explaining how much charity work is done by the NFL mascots as well as other promotional appearances for young fans.

Now, I added a comment on his blog and I feel I need to post it here as well so no one misunderstands where I stand on this issue.

“I very much appreciate your response to my rant about mascots. And as a deeply obsessed Denver Broncos fan, I think I need to appology to you for one important reason.

I truly believe you (the person) love the Broncos and are just as big a fan of this team as myself. Please believe me when I say that I did not intend to offend you with my failed attempt at a humorous rant. And, while I still don’t like the idea of mascots, I most certainly don’t want to insult or damage another Denver Broncos fan.”

— Jonathan Douglas (Denver Obsession) 6/21/07

My post was supposed to be a funny way of asking why we needed an upgrade at mascot when Thunder was doing a great job. It was not intended to hurt another Broncos fan (even if that fan wears a costume). I don’t agree with the need for a mascot (outside of Thunder), but I most certainly didn’t intend to harm the Broncos organization or their awesome community outreach programs. I believe we have the best team, coaches, staff and owner in the league.

Maybe, if I get out to Denver this season, I’ll try to look up Miles and have a drink… Broncos fans should stick together.

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3 comments

  1. […] outrageous response to a blog entry that many of you may have read.  You can find the entire entry HERE.  If you don’t want to read the whole thing, basically the guy doesn’t like mascots.  […]


  2. I agree with Jonathon. My point boils down to this. If you need something to help you enjoy a game or pull for your team, how much do you love “your” team. I love the broncos, during a game I get fired up and it lasts 4 quarters no matter what the score is. Do we need cheerleaders telling us when to cheer? Do we need the antics of a mascot played out before us? If we are celebrating a touchdown should we really care about that showmanship? If we miss a field goal do we need insult to the injury. It has been said that mascots are often there for the kids. If your child is too young to truly appreciate the game then he or she is taking up a seat that could otherwise be free for a real fanatic. Monday through saturday is a great time for mascots and cheerleaders to represent our team and help the community. Sunday is for those either on the field or those directly affiliated with those on the field. This post is not directed towards anyone particular and is just the opinion of me. On a related side note this also goes for those “fans” who say it adds to their enjoyment of the game to bet money on it. We need that type of fan about as much as bandwagon fans.


  3. nothing is more frustrating than watching a horse run up and down the field tearing up the grass at an attempt to create ‘awe’ and capture the attention of the limited minds, all while destroying the turf. then again, i could say the same for any mascot, no matter what they are. they all have their ups and downs. either way, to each their own.



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